I think of her…
And the words flow from my fingers like the swollen rivers of Spring’s Winter thaw.
I see her image…
And my mind wonders in and out of passion and desire.
I speak to her…
And the weight of long past heartbreaks weigh my words unspeakable.
I wish…
That who I am inside is what she sees despite my cautious way.
I toil hopeful…
That the walls around my heart will fall so that I can let her in.
I dream…
Of the day I am no longer afraid to fall in love.
There is a place so dark I cannot go.
The heart runs cold and the soul lives alone.
Thoughts oft surface soon set on the wind.
Hopes no return they should never come again.
I’ve seen my enemy
Perched a thousand strong in shadows surround
One thousand million shells hurled
From cannons self inflicted
Running furious a pace of futile design
All defeated in fields of tortured beauty
Lasting holdouts
Breaking walls of stone and flesh
Hunted down in merciless attack
One by one all traces erased from fertile minds
In the distances over time and endless barrage
Shots cry out last undefeatable foe
Chased, perused, hunted and feared
Exchanges powered raging combat
One on one the battle’s hymn
Still standing, firmly planted and refused to die
Infinity trembles wakes of senseless pride
No wall to high nor barrier too deep
The last yet standing
Stalemate’s tortured for ever more
Looking in to eyes fear defeats
My enemy inside
My enemy is me
Today the eyes of the world are upon her. The cold stair of a billion people following her every move. Watching suspiciously and with conviction in their eyes. She is 8 feet tall today and the sign over my head is an unavoidable beacon drawing everyone closer.
The circus freak goes on stage and in the darkness that surrounds her only silence. The deafening silence rips at her ears as the white ring of light probing her from all directions strips her bare. Naked and alone all she feels is fear. Her self-consciousness swells under the skin like a thousand boils of her disease. No escaping the intense gaze from the corner of her eye… either direction the same.
The darkest layers of her clothing can no longer hide the seething pain of vulnerability. Her fingers shake and clutch at her arms crossed over naked breasts. The transparency of her flesh and bones offer not protection from all the unbroken stairs. Each piercing her flesh with divine accuracy. The criss-crossed gazes dissect her every breath. Paralyzed in a pool of fear only the beat of her heart bursting from her chest offers any hint of life within.
Flight of this motionless statue made impossible by the roots of doubt pulling her limbs deeper into the earth beneath her. She can do nothing but fear. Her chest longs to cry out. Heaving only shallow breaths of a dying flower at the center of the universe. If only she could break free. If only the arms of comfort had not abandoned her soul.